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Why the Buffalo Bills should move to Toronto (or anywhere else)

Toronto Trent

Join the Toronto Pterodactyl bandwagon.

Everybody’s saying the Buffalo Bills are going to leave Buffalo, except for owner Ralph Wilson.

For many Bills fans, this sounds the death knell for their fandom. Many say that they will never follow the franchise if they move nearby to Toronto or far away to Los Angeles. They make claims of betrayal and disloyalty to the Buffalo community. I am here to tell you, my long-suffering brethren, that it is you, not the Bills, who will betray the team by not following them wherever they land.

Let’s look at the situation now.

  • The Bills play in an economically depressed area (Bass Pro still not here yet?)
  • No one wants to play or coach for the Bills except as a last resort (see Bill Cowher, Mike Shanahan, and Terrell Owens).
  • They don’t spend money to pay good players they already have (Jason Peters, Takeo Spikes, Jabari Greer).
  • Are in the midst of a decade long playoff drought (upended week 17 by second string Steelers in 2004).
  • And the front office clearly has no idea how to make football decisions (poor drafting, poor free agent deals, poor game day decisions).

This team is going nowhere in Buffalo.

Face it, Bills fans: this franchise will never win a Super Bowl in this city. Do you really need more confirmation than four consecutive Super Bowl losses, Wide Right, The Music City Miracle, ten years out of the playoffs, and endlessly creative ways to lose? It’s like one big carnival of failure. We might as well throw in No Goal while we’re at it.

Let’s look at the situation for the Toronto Bills.

  • Toronto is in an economically vibrant city with a growing population.
  • This would attract players and coaches who may have not considered Buffalo.
  • They will have more money to work with to obtain and retain great players.
  • And best of all, western New Yorkers would still be in their television market.

Toronto gives this franchise a better chance to win than Buffalo. (Actually, the same argument is possible for San Antonio, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and even Oklahoma City.)

Toronto Pterodactyls!

Picture Billy Buffalo as a pterodactyl from now on.

The biggest question facing an NFL team in Toronto is fan support. The two regular season games the Bills played in Toronto failed to generate anything besides cash in Ralph’s pockets. Whether CFL fans are getting territorial or if the city needs its own team is a question only Torontonians can answer.

That said, how does staying in Buffalo make this team more competitive? The resources available up north are much more conducive to winning. Russ Brandon can only keep shining up this turd for so long.

The only thing Buffalo has over Toronto are fans loyal to a fault.

Yes, with the right front office, the right coach, and excellent drafting the Bills could be successful in Buffalo. But do you believe that this 91-year old owner knows or even cares how to get the job done? Wilson struck gold with Bill Polian, but even then he only promoted the guy because his former GM died in the middle of the offseason. It’s been downhill ever since he fired the now-legendary Indianapolis Colts president.

Buddy Nix? Get real.

The best case scenario is for a new ownership group to buy the team and keep them in Buffalo. Former players like Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas have expressed interest in buying the team, but it’s been mostly talk.

Listen. I want the Buffalo Bills to win a Super Bowl as badly as you. It’s just not going to happen. Why hold the franchise back in Buffalo, knowing they will lose and lose and lose (and lose)? Don’t stifle the Bills. Let them spread those Buffalo wings and move on to greener pastures.

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